Choke on Drama

2011-08-24T17:40:00.000+08:00

Never have I cried for a guy so hard. So hard my head is pounding from the pain even the next day. Waking up the next morning, knowing he isn't mine. knowing he won't call me everyday anymore. Knowing I won't always be with him anymore. Knowing that if I ever do get to hang out with him again, he won't hold me, or my hand, and he won't kiss me. I can't be friends with you. It's better if i give up now then to wait foolishly...

2011-07-29T02:35:00.002+08:00

One goodbye is another hello
One heartbreak is another love
One death is another birth
One end is another beginning
One almost is another forever
Never stop just because one thing ended.

Choke on... almost lover

2011-07-29T00:45:00.002+08:00

"Above all, she loved being loved, and he flooded her with attentions. Making her feel so often that she existed for him, he made her existence real."

Albert Camus, Exile and the Kingdom

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Choke on... nothing

2011-06-27T04:04:00.002+08:00

Choke on... lost friendships

2011-02-15T00:32:00.002+08:00

Here's a poem i'd like to share to someone.
I loved you like a sister, you were my angel.

Losing A Piece Of My Soul
by Jasmine Johnston

“ I came to you the hour I was in pain
Looking for answers, I cried to you in vain.

I shared the many skeletons hiding in my heart,
I knew then you'd be my friend,
I knew it from the start.

Troubles ran like rivers, flowing through my life,
You picked the pieces up and help me through my strife.

When home wasn't home to me no more,
You opened up your heart, and opened up the door.

We cried into night until the early morn.
We solaced each other's pain and shared our many thorns.

As time flew, the air grew thick,
I saw our friendship fading, and my heart grew sick.

The day had arrived,
When it was time to say goodbye.

Now I sit alone,
reminiscing the past I'd blown.”

Can we be close again? Nevermind, i'll be leaving soon anyways.

Choke on...

2011-01-14T03:22:00.002+08:00

"I’ve always wondered where that strength comes from. That dignity and grace that you’ve put on in the face of everything that has happened in your life, because I really wanna be that kind of person someday."

- One Tree Hill

"The best way is not to fight it, just go. Don’t be trying all the time to fix things. What you run from only stays with you longer. When you fight something, you only make it stronger."

Choke on... LoveHate

2011-01-13T23:57:00.001+08:00

I fucking love him.

“ I don’t owe people anything, and I don’t have to talk to them any more than I feel I need to.

Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story

“You can’t be worried about what everyone’s going to think if it’s really coming from your soul.
— PAUL BANKS

Choke on...

2011-01-02T22:54:00.001+08:00

“I’m always torn between wanting to tell my story to everyone to let them know exactly what is in my head and keeping it to myself. The problem is being unhappy and consistently so pushes people away, no matter if they say they’re always there to listen there is only so much even your best friends can listen too. On the otherhand, to pretend everything is fine is to poison yourself from the inside out; it is to ignore who you are and lose yourself. So which is better – to have friends that think you are melodramatic, attention seeking and pessimistic or to drown in your own mind?”

(via eletheowl)

Choke on... a-l-o-n-e

2011-01-02T22:47:00.000+08:00

“Sometimes you just need to be alone. Sometimes, not even your best friend needs to know. Sometimes, you need to put up the walls so you can examine yourself in the peace and quiet. Sometimes the loud sounds need to fade away, leaving only the silence and you; that’s it.”

(via eletheowl)

Choke on... sleepyhead

2010-12-10T03:33:00.000+08:00

This is how i look like right now, studying for my test in 8hrs.

Choke on... ☆★☆

2010-11-21T23:08:00.000+08:00

No matter how many fingers you cross, how many coins you toss in the fountain, how many wishes you make on a star, if it's not meant to be, it won't happen.

Choke on... pika pika

2010-11-19T03:32:00.000+08:00

Hahaha this reminds me of xinyi!

Choke on... Parrrrty Girl

2010-11-10T23:17:00.002+08:00

Choke on... BlacknWhite

2010-11-10T20:00:00.000+08:00

I'm kinda retarded like that.

Choke on...my reply

2010-10-31T02:55:00.003+08:00

Hi, extract of lyrics from sometimes when we touch. Oliviaong's voice is the real deal man.

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you till I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

Choke on... Hubby ♥

2010-09-26T19:47:00.001+08:00

My Hubby's coming to find me (finally) on Oct 23rd. Yayyyy can't wait. How can he be skinnier than me?! Diet plan starts now. Mummy made me salad for tdy (Y)

Omgzzz lubchu too baby! Pls pick me out if u wna sex torture someone on stage (:

Choke on... Selcas

2010-09-23T20:01:00.000+08:00

Hi, it's been so long since i last posted my selca (self-cam). So, i'm sick of looking/being a good girl for months...

I dyed my hair ash blonde.

HAHAHA faster gif cos i don't look boring anymore.

End of selcas.

Thank god our Boss lifted the temporary ban of no frolick yoghurt when on-duty. I've been such a workafrolick nowadays. Need to save up for korea grad trip/ipod/clothes/makeup etc. Been meeting up with a few of FNSD before sending Rachel off :((( At least we had our korean bbq. It was so cheap&good, they went back the next day hahaha!

I love FNSD (Fro-nyo-shi-dae) aka Frolick Generation. We rule over Girls Generation/SNSD.

Choke on...

2010-09-21T01:01:00.003+08:00

“Two of the hardest tests in life: the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage to accept that you’ve waited for nothing.”

Choke on... Silence

2010-09-20T02:04:00.000+08:00

There are 2 kinds of silence.

The awkward silence: the silence between two people who have nothing to say to each other.

The perfect silence: the silence between two people who have a million things to say to each other, but choose not to do it at that moment, because they know they will have a million other opportunities to say them, because they are going to be in each other’s life’s forever. Usually you walk away from the perfect silence feeling like you just had the best conversation ever.

Hi kelly&steph, we have the perfect silence.

Choke on...

2010-09-17T02:45:00.001+08:00

How true..

Kpop Crossword Puzzle

I feel like i'm losing my bestf :(

Ketchup with me soon pls

Choke on... Going the Distance

2010-09-17T02:04:00.003+08:00

Caught a movie with my girlies (minus Samantha), Janelle & Shimah for post-exams destress! I really don't feel like i put in much effort for my exams & i think i'm gonna end up crying when my results come. This cycle keeps continuing...i'm so sick of it i just want to graduate and go to auz alrdy! My plan. Study in auz -> Find korean boyf -> Marry him -> Live in korea

Hehehe i'm not joking okays. Anw we caught "Going the Distance". It's M18 btw. Filled with horny scenes. Awkward for 3 girls to watch such a movie since everyone else are couples. It's pretty hilarious. Dirty jokes. Overall, good movie to relax & de-stress (unlike Quarantine). I swear Quarantine's like the WORST movie ever to watch after exams. It made me so dizzy & sick, i had to go to the toilet to pukeeee.

Garrett: So what kind of women are attracted to your moustache?

Box: Older woman between 45 and 60.

Garrett: Oh, so cougars?

Dan: No, not cougars, this is where it’s weird.

(Epic part)
Box: Not cougars, see cougars to me are sad, desperate, older women who want to be young now, ok? But what i’m looking for are older, attractive women that want to be young again. Alright? See when women see me with a moustache of that type they are transported back to a time when the moustache was king in the 70’s, the early 80’s alright? The era of their sexual awakening, so then when i’m on top of them and they look up at me, they see this person, they’re transported back to that time alright? So this isn’t a moustache… it’s a time machine.

Dan: It’s a time machine to the back of Burt Reynolds Camaro.

LOL time machine moustache!! He's so crappy. And "MAYA, STATUE!!!" is soooo effing hilarious. Go watch it.

Choke on... Legs

2010-09-07T18:55:00.004+08:00

How to get legs like these? Fucking jealous.

Choke on... twinkle twinkle, where's the stars?

2010-09-07T01:54:00.000+08:00

Choke on... Fuckyeahkoreangirls

2010-08-30T04:17:00.001+08:00

Hi all, let me introduce to you my favourite girls of T-ara.

Fuckyeah-JIYEON!

and...

Fuckyeah-Qri!!!

that is why i love t-ara

Choke on... Change is naooooo

2010-08-30T04:08:00.000+08:00

I want a tattoo like this

And i wanna be badass like her.

And to be able to tell myself this...

CHANGE IS NOW.

Choke on... Sick of everything

2010-08-20T19:25:00.000+08:00

Choke on... Cover cover

2010-08-01T04:11:00.000+08:00

Hello G.D my first lubby-hubby. Successfully imitated your pose :D

Choke on... Goldfish?

2010-08-01T03:23:00.001+08:00

“ It’s been said that goldfish only have a memory span of three seconds, but maybe goldfish are like people in a lot of ways; they only pretend they can’t remember so that the past won’t catch up to them. Maybe they think it will make them strong to the rest of the world by acting like nothing can get to them. But they aren’t just lying to everyone else. They’re lying to themselves because you can only pretend for so long until you can’t push away the memories anymore. ”

It sucks to say that i still remember the past. I joked about it but it still hurts thinking about all that i went through.

Choke on... Bold

2010-07-29T01:17:00.000+08:00

“I will be bold and seen. Where you will just blend in, like any other face in the crowd.”

Choke on... Snakes on Youtube!

2010-07-29T00:36:00.000+08:00

Saw this on tumblr and i thought it was so effing cool!!! You must try!!!

Play one here, with a mario background. Just play, not pause, then hold down left arrow key. OR you can mute the sounds or pause the video to play it quietly.

Choke on... What's Beneath?

2010-07-29T00:34:00.000+08:00

“There’s such a gulf between yourself and who you were then, but people speak to that other person and it answers; it’s like having a stranger as a house guest in your skin.”

Choke on... I-scream

2010-07-16T00:15:00.001+08:00

Choke on... Inexplicable

2010-07-08T22:43:00.001+08:00

“ Do you ever just get that feeling where you don’t wanna talk to anybody? You don’t want to smile and you don’t want to fake being happy, but at the same time, you don’t know exactly what is wrong either. There isn’t a way to explain it to someone who doesn’t already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting, and being alone never was. At least when you’re alone no one constantly asks you what is wrong and there isn’t anyone who won’t take, ‘I don’t know,’ as an answer. You feel the way you do just because, you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.

Choke on... Lovelanguage?

2010-07-03T03:59:00.000+08:00

My Result: Words of Affirmation

Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in ...the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved. Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement.

Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person’s unique perspective on an important topic. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

What's your love language? Take the quiz here http://apps.facebook.com/quizcreator/quizzes/243546/play

Choke on... P-p-p-purrr

2010-07-03T03:52:00.003+08:00

“ Don’t worry about people from your past. there’s a reason they didn’t make it to your future.

“ Someone asked me once, if I could wish for anything at all in this world, what would it be? Years have passed and my answer still remains, unchanging. I would wish for more understanding, for me, for the people around me. Because without understanding, what would we be?

“ You can try your hardest. you can do everything. and say everything. But sometimes, people aren’t worth trying over anymore. they aren’t worth worrying about. It’s important to know when to let someone go when they’re letting you down.

I may be here one day, gone one night.

Choke on... BEAST

2010-06-25T02:39:00.003+08:00

I'M A KPOP FANGIRL NOW HAHAHA! SUPER EXXCITED POST SO MUST CAPS ALL THE WAY! I GOT TO WATCH BEAST SHOWCASE JUST NOW AND WAS IN THE FRONT 30 THANKS TO CHERYL! SERIOUSLY I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE ABLE TO WATCH THEM SO CLOSELY! IT STILL FEELS SUPER SURREAL! BEAST IS THE B2ST!

Sadly, no cameras were allowed ):):): just look at the amount of fans

BEAST!

Okay so here's my favourite Kikwang!!!

Kikwang oppa saranghae! HAHAHA I CAN DIE A HAPPY FANGIRL ALREADY COS KIKWANG WAVED AT ME 3 TIMES! Cheryl can vouch for meeee! I should be happy but i can't help but to be jealous of this girl whom Kikwang invited on stage to be serenaded by BEAST!!! He kept looking at her and smiled so sweetly! Wellzzz she's the 1st in queue afterall. Still, we had eye-contact and he smiled at meeeeee!!! *swooooons* Each time he waves at me i just feel so... SHOCK SHOCK!

I'm still thinking of how Kikwang did this to meeeee

Not really but still he saw me AHHHHHHHHHHHS!!!

Next up, DONGWOON!!!

DONGWOON!!! I felt disheartened by Kikwang cos he kept looking at THAT girl so i decided to look at Dongwoon & he smiled at me (: At the end of the showcase, they shook the 1st row's hands. Although we were seated in the 3rd row, Dongwoon stretched his hand to shake mineeeee! GOSH HOW NICE CAN HE BE?! This feels damn good cos he specially shook our hands hahahaha!

I must say Yoseob is cute as well!

He was so cuteeee! He recognized Cheryl's sis friends and so he kept waving to them and communicated through sign language. Goshhhhh!

DOOJOON'S SO PLAYFUL!

Junhyung & Hyunseung were ok. Hyunseung was so dao. Didn't wave backkkk ):

I LOVE KIKWANG & DONGWOON THE MOST!

For meeeee?

Cheryl drove me back in her Lexus while blasting Beast's songs. Fans kept cheering on our way out because of her awesome car. Hahaha enjoyed the momentarily feeling of being special. Their performance is going to be aired on Entertainment on 5. I still cannot believe how close i was to them! My 1st time watching Kpop idols live & it's so awesomeeee! I think having connections and inside info is superrrr important. Hopefully i could go watch studio recordings in Korea soonz!

Nights everyone i'm going to dream of my Kikwang waving at me & Dongwoon shaking my hand! Hehehe <333 Thank you Cheryl for one of my best nights everrrr!

Choke on... GENTING!

2010-06-21T05:17:00.002+08:00

I'M GOING OFF TO GENTING FOR 3D2N OMGZZZ PPL SAY THT OUR HOTEL IS VVV HAUNTED I HOPE NTH BAD HAPPENS BYEEEEEEEZZZZ

Choke on... Falsies

2010-06-19T19:07:00.000+08:00

Twitter feels like a form of weapon nowadays. Don't you think so? Tweets are usually filled with angst.

I don't know what to do anymore. It's not like a mathematical equation where being nice to everyone = everyone being nice to you. Yea i guess naive people like me paint this world to be a beautiful place. Only when reality sets in then you realize that being true to people only brings hurt to yourself.

Orrrrr that i'm over-sensitive. In any case, i find it hard to trust people these days.

I'm done fighting wars.

Choke on... Polaroid-Kitty-Me

2010-06-14T02:46:00.002+08:00

Hello....Kitty! Yay i got my Polaroid today, like finally. I've been contemplating for really long about getting the Hello Kitty polaroid camera (below) but it's like double the price. Don't think it's worth it. So i guess i'll just paste some sticker over it to look like it hehehe! Super love the kitty polaroids!!! This waitress came up to us and asked to take a photo of her to give her but i was like nooo i can't cos the polaroids are expensive. Sigh i felt so bad for rejecting but... it's REALLY not cheap k! Quotes Yujie, each polaroid is like a plate of chicken rice.

So yay my tests are over and i got my long-awaited break from school! It's my first holiday in like 6 months cos of stupid internship that took up our last hols. It's kinda strange to be not-so-busy but it's good cos i get to meet up with ppl i haven't seen in awhile!

Sorry for the lack of update. Haven't been using my computer/msn/facebook/twitter/everythingelse. Oh dearrrr i'm such a boring person now :D

Choke on... Loner?

2010-06-07T18:17:00.000+08:00

“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”

This quote clearly depicts how i've been feeling lately. I'm quite sick of blending into the world, gossiping, pleasing people, attaining all these empty happiness. The more i spend alone time, the greater the desire of having a simple life minus all those complicated people who come & go in my life. Then i realize, all i need is probably just my iPod & V. I'm like this person who's void of emotions and don't even want to socialize anymore. I hardly use my Twitter, Facebook & (soon-to-be) Internet. I don't know why but i just wanna roll up in my bed watching tv or listening to music and not bother about anything else. Ohhhh maybe i've attained Nirvana hahaha!

Oh yes, i shop alone. I can walk around alone. I study alone. Why is everyone so dependent on one another? I don't think it's necessary for me to drag others along to do menial tasks like trimming my hair and all.

I need to study. It's my mid-semester tests week. Wish me luck!

Choke on... ☁

2010-06-02T01:21:00.002+08:00

This post is a little pointless i'm just here to rant... NICHKHUN & f(x)'s VICTORIA IS GOING TO BE A COUPLE ON WE GOT MARRIED!!! MY JEALOUSY LEVEL HAS REACHED 100% MAX!

SIGHHHH! Victoria better treat my Khunnie well k!

Something embarrassing happened today. The button on my top came loose and thus exposing my *coughs*bra*coughs* to the public for like 5 secs. ARGHHH THIS IS MAJORLY EMBARRASSING! I wanted to hide in a hole so badly after i realised an old pekpek was staring -.-

Wardrobe Malfunction sucks...seriously

Choke on... Nichkhun

2010-05-25T01:19:00.003+08:00

OMG I'M SORRY I'M SUCH A KPOP FANGIRL NOW! I kept chanting in sch "So we don't stop, can't stop, until we reach the top" & "Everything happens for a reason, everything happens for a reason". Influenced people around me too heeee (:

Nichkhun is like an innocent little boyboy omg *swoons over him* This audition clip of his made me laugh like maaaad!

OK TO REDEEM FOR HIS LOUSY ACTING SKILLS...

My Khunnie baby so freaking hot. Hot like 2pm!!!

TAKE THE SHIRT OFF NOWWWW! HAHAHA!

Eeeeps i need to focus on my studies but it's kinda impossible with so many Korean eyecandies! Oops sorry Khunnie is actually Thai-Chinese. My heart can't fit any more guys. I feel so bad that i'm loving G-Dragon & Nichkhun at the same time. I...just...can't...help...it! ♥ ♥ ♥

Sorry but my heart's taken (:

Choke on... Farfarawayland

2010-05-24T04:08:00.003+08:00

Hi everyone welcome to the land of Far Far Away aka my home/castle/palace. Yea you get it.

Warning: Photo spam post. Prepare for an enchanted post that is so potent, it can potentially bewitch you.

After the land of far far away, we went back to ancient egyptian times. Meanwhile we passed by Jurassic Park.

Oh dear, these egyptian men has casted a spell on us!!!

*Pooooof!* What? We've arrived in NYC!

And so we roamed the streets of New York when we bumped into Betty Boob.. oops i mean Boop!

Like a lost princess, i roamed around.

Then there was this ride... wow a Giant Teacup

It spun me around & around and i ended up in... Hollywood?!

I'm an actress?! I'M AN ACTRESS!!!

At the end of it all, i miss my land of Far Far Away the most.

Choke on... 2pm

2010-05-21T02:22:00.008+08:00

An-nyung-ha-se-yo! Current craze over 2pm's manly bodies. Watch the vid & you'll know.

I love this dance so much i'm seriously considering learning it on my own. It's called the 'OK' dance hahaha how cuteeeee! I love the parts where they signal "cut it out" with the hands eeeeeps!!!

The hottest time of the day... 2PM!!!
(Big Bang i still love you)

Choke on... Truancy

2010-05-20T03:52:00.004+08:00

I don't feel like going to school tmrw. Oops technically, today.

Choke on... Photoshop

2010-05-20T00:32:00.011+08:00

“Other people’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.”

I was bored so i decided to practise my photoshop skills. Pretty cool huh? Idk why i don't smile in my photos these days.

Xx

Choke on... YG Family

2010-05-19T00:16:00.002+08:00

I think i've lost it. I want to get close to Big Bang & G-Dragon so badly that i wish i was part of YG Family. Open auditions for the first time everrrrr. I've a feeling it's causing a phenomenon in Korea considering how badly they want their kids to become stars. I'm such a Kpop groupie now!!!

Choke on... G-Dragon

2010-05-18T02:25:00.004+08:00

사랑해요 ♥

Pardon me for this late post but my heart's kinda breaking looking at Kwon Jiyong Oppa 권지용오빠!!! Aka G-Dragon.

Choke on... Growing up

2010-05-18T00:31:00.001+08:00

“ None of us wanted to grow up. Because you stop and take a look around. Everything is different. You hear it all the time, but that’s the only way to describe it. People are no longer there, and the pain. We didn’t know the price, that was the problem. Growing up had a price. Un-refundable, unforgettable, underestimated. Maybe if we’d known, things would be different. Instead of looking to the future with eyes wide open, we would have lingered in our innocence, observing and finding fascination in the simplest joys of life. ”

Growing up is such a tough phase. Often, i run away from their constant lectures on how i should behave since i'm all grown up. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to think about my future 1year from now. Because i'm... scared

Can i just live my life as it is with no worries?

Truth is, all these worries are at the back of my head. And when they bring it up, it gives me greater fear. I need my ipod. I've been feeling so insecure lately with the lack of music accompanying me. Help.

Choke on... Johnny Bravo

2010-05-18T00:13:00.007+08:00

“ I’m a lover and a fighter. I get angry easily, but I’m working on it. I sleep and think too much, but I get my shit done. I have a weakness for sweet talkers, but I’m learning and enforcing my boundaries. I don’t let many people in, but once they’re in, they’re there forever. I’m strong and independent and I’ve been broken, but never shattered.”

So, me.

Hi Johnny Bravo. Shucks i really do have a 'secret-crush-on-you' cute.I hope you never know.

Choke on... The Notebook

2010-05-17T01:00:00.011+08:00

“ The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That's what I hope to give you forever.”

Hi, i'm back to blogger.

There is melancholy in the wind and sorrow in the grass. If only, if only, i could be as free as the wind. My emotions are hanging by a thread. I've been so fragile lately, breaking down ever so often.

Part of John Keats' poem, Ode on Melancholy

She dwells with Beauty -- Beauty that must die;
And Joy, whose hand is ever at his lips
Bidding adieu; and aching Pleasure nigh,
Turning to poison while the bee-mouth sips

It's been 4months since i blogged in this space. A lot has changed. I mean, isn't change the only constant thing? I'm a lot more introvert, at least i think so. I kinda like how my life is right now. Serene. Contrary to my blog name, i don't wish to continue living in dramas circling round friends. Wow, i think being 19 is a big jump from my 18 life. Ok i still party but at least it's not for the same reasons i had a year ago. So over the partying-is-cool period. I'd rather sit by a pub, listen to live bands and enjoy my night with awesome companions.

Or... like how my fri night went. A walk with V around WCP, climbing pyramids and looking out at the sea. I think i'll drop by there more often to enjoy the scenery. Because as each strong wave pounds on the rocks, I stand, spellbound by the Sea. And as the spray and foam quench the docks, I am breathlessly gazing at the blue queen. I don't even mind going there alone. It's so relaxing.

I just finished crying to the movie, The Notebook. A film adapted from Nicholas Sparks' novel. My mum scolded me for wasting her tissues but i can't help it!!! I'm a sucker for such romance stuffz. I'm the kinda girl who will love 1 guy with all her heart & soul and give it all she could to make things work. Yeayea just go ahead and doubt me cos i don't look like it.

I really love this movie. Nicholas Sparks probably sparked me to start reading novels. Pun intended. I can't wait to watch The Last Song!!!

I love the quotes from The Notebook.

“Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone. ”

AND

“I am no one special. Just a common man with common thoughts. I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but in one respect I've succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived. I've loved another with all my heart and soul and for me that has always been enough. ”

Xx

Pola Snack

2010-01-27T03:37:00.007+08:00

I don't know if you recognise this snack but it was one of my fave back in pri sch. It's been zamn long since i last had it! Mmm..

I'm gonna bring it to skool tmrw and give to my friends (just like pri sch) YAYEEEE!

Okay late nights are making me cranky.

2010-01-26T03:58:00.000+08:00

I'm serious when i say i wna be a good kid. My new kinda scene (:

2010-01-26T00:25:00.002+08:00

I need someone who knows me better than i do, one who speaks my mind and sees me as the only girl for him.

Htht with E on Sat night kept emphasizing on "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who judge you, don't matter and those who matter will not judge you."

I came across that quote a couple of times and didn't digest it until recently. Maybe this is the key to confidence.

Old school

2010-01-26T00:11:00.004+08:00

I was looking through my superold&abandoned blog and found this vid. It was taken 4 years ago when we were 15. Isn't it heartwarming to be reminded the innocence of youth? Imissyouguys.

Unbelievable but true. It's part of our school rule to tie not 1, but 2 plaits.

402 girls (:

"If you want the present to be different from the past, study the past."

Romeo save me, i've been feeling so alone.

2010-01-21T02:45:00.002+08:00

I've not had good sleep for days and thus causing me to miss morning classes. Jarrett, pierson & I went to jar's hse to jam on Mon. Val was there to be sai kang warrior haha! Okay she's our band manager. I really love music & finally being able to jam acoustic versions of songs felt so good! It has always just been me, my microphone @ home & instrumental versions of songs. And now i'm finally able to connect to the soul of the songs even more.

This is the link to the vid. Love story.
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=261390788204&subj=564427090

I'm sorry you probably can't view it if you're not val's friend.

Oh and val says i'm self-absorbed, which i think is kinda true. Note to self, stop talking about yourself. (super hard to do)

Facebook is so entertaining during classes. It's so funny when i use Samantha's acc to "like" random stuffs like ppl catching a 'Hope' mouse in Mousehunt or "like" Janelle's newly added friends. Because u know u would nv "like" such things ever, it's good to use someone else's acc and just laugh at it.

And of cos my fave thing to do on fb, joining groups!!! I think fb groups are pure genius. It's a platform for me to realize that i'm not the only retarded person who does it.

I am really bored.

Oh oh i really wanted that thing
I just want to sing
I love you baby
Won't you bring
All the flowers you
Find out in the garden
Don't tell me the truth
That your heart has hardened

But you don't want me anymore
How can it be
Look what you've done to me

Jam!

2010-01-17T17:03:00.002+08:00

Hahaha i had a lot of fun ytd. Haven't been singing in such a long time. After chris bday party, i went to holland v to look for val, pier, jarrett & their friend. Somehow there was miscommunication & thus bet for me wrongly. Ya soccer betting. Oh wellzzz ):

Thn we hung arnd and went to our usual swing. Started singing & had thoughts of going jamming tgt. I hope it'd happen & not be empty talk again. Hahaha been wanting to form a band since like, ever.

2010-01-17T16:21:00.003+08:00

"Isn’t that the thing with fantasies? Fantasies are absolutely safe, as long as you never try to make them a reality. Whether you’re fantasizing about wife-swapping, or cafe/bookshops, it’s still a truism that they will always be safer when they are kept locked in your head."

"Words, people. Words. There are meaningful words, there are pointless words and then there are words that hurt."

"Reality is the name we give to our disappointments."

"I like flaws and feel more comfortable around people who have them. I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. "

"Do you love me like I love you?"

"I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad, carry you around when your arthritis is bad. I’ll get your medicine when your tummy aches; build you a fire if the furnace breaks. I’ll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold. Need you, feed you, I’ll even let you hold the remote control. So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink. All I wanna do is grow old with you."

"Tell the truth. It’s the easiest thing to remember."

"If a song’s about something I’ve experienced or that could’ve happened to me it’s good. But if it’s alien to me, I couldn’t lend anything to it. Because that’s what soul is all about."

Dreams do come true

2010-01-16T14:26:00.001+08:00

I think i'm going to Boys Like Girls concert!!!! (:

BOYSLIKEGIRLS

2010-01-14T00:48:00.004+08:00

OMGZZ MELTZZ!!! MARTIN JOHNSON OF BOYSLIKEGIRLS!!!

If you still don't think he's fucking cute, look below.

HAHAHAHAHA!!! SO CUTEEEEE!

2010-01-14T00:27:00.001+08:00

"There are so many people out there who will tell you that you can’t. What you’ve got to do is turn around and say, ‘watch me’."

-Layne Beachley

OMFG I'M 19!

2010-01-11T22:33:00.004+08:00

OMFG i still can't accept the fact that i'm 19. And everyone keeps reminding me of how old that is ): HAHA but okays i must say that i had very little expectations of my birthday this year and yet it was probably one of the best birthdays ever. I felt so loved by all my friends and i kept questioning myself if i deserved all these love.

And yes indeed, i am happy (:

Thanks for all the shock/surprises. I'm quite a sucker for all these surprises. I really love them HAHA! ^^

Okays on Fri Jan 8 I met up with my secondary sch friends namely Valentina, Liting, Yujie, Xinjie, Lynn and Kianyong! Had dinner @ Marche then headed to Orchard Central's rooftop for some scenic view. Then we went on to Acid Bar to listen to the awesome live band. I love times like these where you just sit there and enjoy the music with a bunch of friends.

Liting helped to plan everything ♥

Yay everyone!

Lynn!

Xinjie!

Sat Jan 9 was just a simple date with Sarah Teh at vivo ♥

Sun Jan 10 was supposedly with Sports Club ppl but I was glad to have my closest friends spend it with me. CQ Tiffo & Evelyn! They really understood what I wanted with a simple picnic @ Marina Barrage. I don't ask for fanciful stuffs now that i'm older. There is nothing more that I can ask for than a simple celebration with my fave peeps just chilling out. E bought a kite for me! :D

I haven't flown a kite for ZAMNNNN long and it was SO FUN!!! (I feel like a kid) The sky was filled with Octopus, Spasm & Boxer kite HAHAHA! Mine was a fishy but it got cut off by some stupid kite ): CQ's kite flew zamnnn high. It was such a fun day! ^^ Lying down on the grass, staring into the dark sky filled with stars. Thn they started to play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire on my iPhone. Thanks for everything!

Look at this! I made the balloon FLYYYYYY! *GASPS*

DO YOU SEE THAT FISHY?! IT'S MY KITEEEE! (stop staring at my bra strap you perv!)

HAPPY KIDS!

Goodbye Fishy. Fly awayyyy to a happier place ):

♥ Tiffo!

Then ytd at 12midnight when it was Jan11, my doorbell rang. I got the shock of my life cos it was so late?! I peeped through the peephole & saw a guy. I shouted to my daddy, OMG GOT GUY AT THE DOOR!!! Thn i opened it & saw Elian standing there. I was so shocked thn i tell him to wait and slammed the door back. I NEVER WEAR BRA FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE so i went to put on a jacket and opened the door again. (I was still in shock)

Val & Liting popped up from behind and started singing me a birthday song with a cake. HAHAHA i was soooo touched! I told you i'm a sucker for such things. I really like it ♥ They sat for a lil while before going off. Lits even spoke to Tiffo & asked her to make sure i came home before 12. How sweet rightzzz?

To my bestfs Valentina & Liting, I always wondered if I was an important friend in your life (insecure luh). I should know better since you guys always did the sweetest things to melt my heart. My birthday for instance. And always being there to listen to my woes + bitchings LOL! All i did was to mention bout working at the IT fair selling blackberry accessories & you guys actually managed to find my stall out of the thousands and surprise me with your visit. (IT WAS A TINY STALL K!) You guys even added * and asked him to stop hurting me. I really really appreciate all that you 2 have done for me. My best friends forever ♥

And today, Shimah Samantha & Janelle "surprised" me after our Blaw tutorial. HAHA it was kinda spoiler cos the tutor sorta blabbered everything out. Thanks girls for the cake & card + present. I like people singing b'day song for me :D School has been so fun with their whacky company.

I joined this Facebook grp, Don't worry, I also don't know what to do while they sing me Happy Birthday. HAHA dontcha agreeee?

What the. I counted fb bday wishes and there were 66. I'm bored luh hahaha!

I'm 19 yet i still sound so kiddish. I'm so lucky to be loved by so many friends. Thank you all for making my day!!! JANUARY 11 ♚

Forever 18

2010-01-10T23:57:00.002+08:00

I'M BLOGGING THIS WITH MY LAST BREATH OF BEING 18 YEARS OLD. SIGHS! I WANT TO STAY FOREVER 18. VAMPIRE?

2010-01-10T01:03:00.007+08:00

13899.) I don't know what to do anymore. Life seems like a series of infinite nothings. It's not that I'm unhappy. I'm just lost.

(via blogsecret)

13722.) I am so sick of being the joke. Fuck off.

(via blogsecret)

“ Am I dead or am I dying or am I simply tired of crying?

“ Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself."

-Harvey Fierstein

“ I get tired of talking when I want to be silent.

— Henry Rollins

Hahaha fuck yeah i'm emo. Hello all you unknown readers, you're scary.

2010-01-07T00:00:00.002+08:00

"Some of the greatest loves we can experience can be completely one sided.
We let our minds travel into something that crosses the lines of fantasy into what we’re waiting to finally experience with that person. From what could be interpreted as a stare to a normal person is just us fighting off the weight of being completely in love with what our eyes are seeing.
As every day passes, we further feel the weight of the crush, patiently dreaming of the day when the weight is gone and we’re finally swept off our feet."

"I hope that you hear
all the secret things my eyes
are saying to you."

"Take pride in your pain; you are stronger than those who have none"

Lois Lowry, Gathering Blue

"Be careful with your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words. Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny."

"You speak an infinite deal of nothing."

William Shakespeare

2010-01-06T02:12:00.003+08:00

After a hiatus of 1 month from Frolick, i am finally resuming work next week. Who knew that yx was so nice and gave me all the slots i booked for. Now i have to work practically everyday cept MON (youknowhy) Ha-ha-ha i asked for it man.

I miss Frolick & the girls. I scream into the counter everytime i see familiar faces. And today it was Rebekah (:

I had an aweshumz time with my primary school friends! I swung my plastic bag and it hit this metal construction barricade and i shrieked bimbotic-ly. Angmohs that walked past mumbled "Drunkard girl" and my friends heard it. HAHAHA JOKE!!! I AM NOT DRUNK LUH!

I hope i can send Nicolle off tmrw cos she's going States to study. Ihatechuall for going far far awayyyyy ):):):

ZZZ

2010-01-05T19:19:00.003+08:00

HI ALL! I JUST NEED TO HYPERVENTILATE COS I FINALLY GOT TO SEE MY KING ZEEEEEEEEE!!! Hehehe same classroom for retest. Speaking of which, i had a hell lot of drama as we were informed of the wrong room & had to run arnd.

KING ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Okays i need to go to hollandv now to meet my pri sch friends (:

And seriously, boyslikegirls concert anyone?

2010-01-04T09:29:00.000+08:00

YAY SHIMAH'S FETCHING ME TO SCHOOL!!! (L) 1st day of school doesn't seem tht bad afterallz

2010-01-03T22:57:00.002+08:00

Close your eyes and it will be alright

"The basis of optimism is sheer terror."

-Oscar Wilde

"Fiction is the truth inside the lie."

-Stephen King

"When they are alone they want to be with others, and when they are with others they want to be alone. After all, human beings are like that."

-Gertrude Stein

"The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul."

-G.K. Chesterton

CHEERS TO A NEW SOUL!!! (Y)

2010-01-03T19:41:00.003+08:00

Dang, tmr's 1st day of sch. Nothing else motivates me besides King Z. I wna see him tmrw ): Pwetty pweaseeeee!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2010-01-01T23:04:00.002+08:00

"A year’s final sigh
and the stealing of my breath.
Put your hand in mine."

"A wise girl kisses but doesn’t love, listens but doesn’t believe, and leaves before she is left."

-Marilyn monroe

"And the truth the you’ll find will always be the truth you hide."

"Some things, however, are true no matter how hard you might try to block them out, and a lie is always a lie, no matter how prettily told. Some doors, once they’re opened, can never be closed again, just as some trust, once it’s been lost, can never be won back."

-Alice Hoffman

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

-Maria Robinson

"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renenwed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king."

Happy 2010! My only new year resolution for now is to quickly recover & be in good health because being sick sucks. Whatever things i expect for the year ahead are nothing without being healthy.

I want change.

2009-12-27T17:32:00.002+08:00

"I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."

"Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts."

"The peace of hello will finally tranquilize the ache of goodbye."

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."

"I do my thing, and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful."

"Count your age by friends, not years Count your life by smiles, not tears."

"I heard what you said. I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved."

"Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta figure out who’s worth suffering for."

BANGKOK

2009-12-20T00:37:00.002+08:00

Joke of the day: I kept thinking that Tiger Show was to watch tigers until my mum told me it's a stripper show & she thought i was such a good girl to not wanna watch it. Wth she nv even scold me tt my friends are bringing me there?!

GOODBYE SINGAPORE!!! HELLO BANGKOK!!!

I know i'm like on a serious MIA, going overseas like back-to-back. BUT I'LL BE BACK FOR CHRISTMAS EVE CELEBRATION WITH MY FRIENDS THAT I MISS SO SO MUCH ♥

GOODBYE

2009-12-14T11:53:00.001+08:00

BYE SINGAPORE!!! I'M GOING TO TAKE A CRUISE ON ROYAL CARRIBEAN! 5D4N (:

Don't miss me too much
xoxo

2009-12-14T03:42:00.005+08:00

"It's like Tolstoy said. Happiness is an allegory, unhappiness a story."

"I am shouting my invisible words. I am getting so weary. I am growing tired. I am waving at you from here. I am crawling and looking for the aperture of complete and final emptiness. I am vibrating in isolation among you. I am screaming but it comes out like pieces of clear ice. I am signaling that the volume of all this is too high. I am waving. I am waving my hands. I am disappearing. I am disappearing but not fast enough"

"The fear of an unknown never resolves, because the unknown expands infinitely outward, leaving you to cling pitifully to any small shelter of the known: a cracker has twelve calories; the skin, when cut, bleeds."

"Your superhuman power was to be able not to feel. Is it there inside everybody, this self that comes out while you are in captivity? You become the closest approximation of yourself that can tolerate living there."

2009-12-14T03:33:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i wish i could live a secluded life, one that's away from all the dramas and materialistic wants. But i know i could never do it.

Empty

2009-12-14T02:58:00.002+08:00

"I’m more afraid of being nothing than I am of being hurt."

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."

"Love who and what you love because you love them. Not because other people do. Or don’t."

"Sometimes you think you’ve gotten over a person, but when you see him smile you suddenly realize you’re just pretending you’re over him to ease the pain of knowing that he will never be yours."

"You wear a mask for so long you forget who you were beneath it”

"You don’t have to be the person you tell people you are. You can just be who you are."

Supperclub

2009-12-13T16:22:00.007+08:00

Okays before i go on abt supperclub, my boss James just sent a text. He said there's a redbull party tmr and it's a winter themed party where you have to wear winter wear in an ice factory. SOUNDS SOOOO FUN BUT GUESS WHAT?! I CAN'T FREAKING GO COS I'M GOING ON A CRUISE TRIP!!! AHHHHHHHS! I'm turning into such a party girl but nemmamind. I'm still a good girl kay! (pls believe me)

This cruise trip better be awesomez and nope it's not starcruise pls, it's royal carribean. Hopefully will meet royal people onboard (Y)

Oh and i met up with kianyong, daphne, & liting to celebrate Yujie's bday! Hahaha spent like 4 hrs at this steamboat shop in chinatown just gossiping nonstop abt ppl. And smth embarrassing happened. I dropped this dumpling into the steamboat and PIAKKK the water came out and splashed onto daphne! Omfg it freaking scalded her ): I'm so sorry daph. Only such things would happen to me like seriously. Plus, i ate a lot of uncooked food -.-

Supperclub was awesomez. The beds are soooo comfy!

Brought Janelle & Samantha for their virgin clubbing to celebrate Janelle's bday!

Lychee Martini is da bombz! Sisterhood swore to secrecy. Shit i think i just made the good girls go bad. I'd have never imagined seeing em enjoy clubbing manz! Oh gawd someone from SP actually recognised me in a club and asked Janelle if i was Candy?! Shock much. Okays loveya xoxo

Xanga

2009-12-11T01:47:00.013+08:00

Ehs? I think i just fell in love with Xanga again. HAHAHA i was so bored, i camwhored (omg it rhymes!) You can check out more on fb. Btw that's my guitar Nate. Screw all the muthafucking tests. I just wanna go partaye already. Supperclub on Sat (Y)

The Queen bids adieu ♚

Prompromprom

2009-12-08T19:47:00.003+08:00

All i see on facebook are photos of my friends' prom night! Omgz stacey almost became promqueen for RJ!!! Still, so proud of her (: Haha tonight's lits&val's prom. So tempted to join em for their post-prom plans but.... i've got HRM waiting for me. *BIG SIGH* Lynn told me tht sometimes she wished i went to JC instead of Poly so we could still like study tgt, hang out tgt. Yeah i rlly do wish i had chosen the same route as all my friends did but i guess poly modules suits me better. See, i can just study 1 day before (awesomez or whtz) I miss all my friendssss. Now that their A's are over, i'm the mugger instead of em. I'm sure postprom clubbing is just the best place to be in cos its the kinda crowd i like. Yesss i think i rlly love the clubbing scene naoz, finally releasing the innate partygirl. Okays enough of ranting. Goodbye y'all.

CHANEL!!!

2009-12-08T00:44:00.003+08:00

I WANT A CHANEL GUITAR FOR CHRISTMAS!!! *SCREAMS*
Okay maybe i shld work on my guitar skills first

Funkygrad

2009-12-06T21:26:00.004+08:00

I heartz this photo that was posted on Funkygrad for Mr&Miss SP. And ew, i don't want my face there on the article!!! Badhairdayurghs!

Cry me out

2009-12-06T18:37:00.004+08:00

“ Mate, you’re too late
And your weren’t worth the wait
Now, were you?
It’s out of my hands
Since you blew your last chance
When you played me

You’ll have to cry me out
You’ll have to cry me out
The tears that'll fall
Mean nothing at all
It’s time to get over yourself

- Cry Me Out by Pixie Lott

I'll be..

2009-12-06T02:55:00.003+08:00

I'm getting a blog revamp. Changing this site into a spaceforthoughts with occasional ramblings. Maybe i should get a tumblr instead?

Oh yay i shld start stardeeing Business Law

Jump then fall

2009-12-06T02:25:00.005+08:00

“ …I seek a lasting relationship, something permanent in a world of change, in which all is transitory, ephemeral, and full of pain.
— Eldridge Cleaver

“ If you ask me, we go to the movies because we want to see fairy tales, a sleeping queen woken up by his true love’s kiss. A princess who puts aside her jewels to make her way in the world. Lovers torn apart being brought back together, but life isn’t a fairytale and happy ending are few and far between. In life, the young queen becomes the tyrant and takes her subject to war so that’s why we need movies to remind us that despite it all, love can still spring in the most unlikely lived places and that sometimes even fairy tales can come true.

— Gossip Girl

12841.) Would you mind if I sat next to you and watched you smile?
via Blogsecret

“ Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.
— Lemony Snicke

Isn't this so true?

You know you love em'

2009-12-06T02:00:00.008+08:00

Taylor Momsen so goth-geous

*Adores* Batman heels!!!

Did you know that Wednesday has a d in it because it sounded better than Wenesday?

Random Stuffs

2009-12-06T00:32:00.005+08:00

Hands down I’m too proud for love but with eyes shut, it’s you that I’m thinking of."

— Little Bit, Lykke Li

You are the broken record in my heart; the song (i used to love because of you) that's stuck on repeat

I mistakenly let you tug at my heart strings a bit, as if it was already yours to play with.

Stars go kill my eyes

2009-09-22T04:43:00.009+08:00

"I like the stars. It’s the illusion of permanence, I think. I mean, they’re always flaring up and caving in and going out. But from here I can pretend… I can pretend that things last. I can pretend that lives last longer than moments, gods come and gods go. Mortals flicker and flash and fade. Worlds don’t last; and stars and galaxies are transient, fleeting things that twinkle like fireflies and vanish into cold and dust. But I can pretend."

"There are certain people who come into your life, and leave a mark… their place in your heart is tender; a bruise of longing, a pulse of unfinished business. just hearing their names pushes and pulls at you in a hundred ways, and when you try to define those hundred ways, describe them even to yourself, words are useless."